A Hard Wipe
by Ohohen
Summary: [NejiTen][Implied Others] When you're a busy man with a busy family with a busy family, you have no time to clean that mess you left in the bathroom the other day. So, why not hire someone else to do it for you? You're rich with no maid. Shocking, really.


**I always liked butlers. xD**

**Well, now in _this _case, it's a maid. xP**

**Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto**

**I'm in the process of updating. Don't kill me. J**

**A Hard Wipe**

Chapter One: Maid for Hire

Hyuuga Neji opened the door to his fairly large home…mansion, actually, and had a pang of familiarity as he entered. His cousin, Hyuuga Hinata, of a higher rank, sat peacefully on the couch with her laptop busily typing up documents needed for the next day. One of which he noted as his eyes narrowed slightly, was his uncle's retirement plan.

His uncle, Hyuuga Hiashi, owned their famous optical company, with optometry centers most famous all around the world. Or at least, enough in Singapore that they're _fairly_ well known around the world.

Their family was pretty much of a Chinese origin, but they found competition was high in China, and his uncle decided to move to Singapore instead, and start his optometry company with a fairly large Optometry company there instead. It was a success; Now they have centers all over Asia…Or, at least mostly in areas such as the East Coast of China, Hong Kong, and of course, Singapore. There were a couple in Taiwan, Japan, and Korea too.

The Hyuuga family's Optometry centers are great with expert eye doctors and optometrists. In fact, Neji was one himself. He was just more of a businessman for his Uncle's company instead. But he was one of the top optometrists there.

The Hyuuga family are well known for their eyesight--Each family member born in has exceptional eyesight, with 21-21 or more. And marrying would always be marrying in; as no Hyuuga was allowed to leave.

But that was simply a personal family rule that Hiashi held about his family; He never wanted to lose any of them. They were actually quite cold and strict to each other before…Starting with particularly Neji, after his father died. But all was explained later in time, and one of Hiashi's goals was to unite the two family ranks together. And it worked.

They were separate, but they still worked in harmony together.

Because of that, now Hinata can truly be the leader of the company once Hiashi steps down.

Hiashi had actually made a proposal to Neji, asking him to take over instead of Hinata or Hanabi. But Neji felt he disliked being a leader. Sure, a genius was what he strived to live up to his name, but not a _leader_. He decided to kinda turn down his uncle's proposal, and request that the honor was given to Hanabi or Hinata. Particularly Hinata, but Neji stated anyone was pretty much fine with anyone who wasn't a fool or himself.

Besides, he _was_, after all, of the secondary family rank.

And here comes the time that Hiashi really does step down, and Hinata takes over. Hinata never wanted to, as here she was, typing up a retirement statement for her father. She felt as if she was forcing her father to retire. But Hiashi smiled sympathetically and embraced her loving daughter (Which was something Hinata had never remembered sharing such a touching moment with) and assured her that it was his choice, but he was simply too exhausted with hands that were too old to type.

And ironically, here Neji's uncle Hiashi was, out in the back, practicing the Baguazhang, or the Eight Trigrams Palm, out back. It was something that every Hyuuga member knew how to use. Yes, not only do the Hyuuga _aid_ damage to their eyes, they used the expert eyesight, and they also _cause_ damage as well. Neji was considered one of the greatest users of the Eight Trigrams Palm of his time.

(A/N: The Baguazhang is a real Martial Arts form, and it really does mean Eight Trigrams Palm. The Hyuuga family uses very similar techniques of the Eight Trigrams Palm. I say they're just about the same thing, but Jyuuken uses chakra. XD But the Eight Trigrams Palm is considered to be able to do internal damage. Yeah, it's like. "HOSHIT JYUUKEN IS REAL!!!!!" xD)

And here was his cousin, typing up on her little personal laptop. Neji thought it was cute that she thought he didn't see her immediately change her wallpaper from Ambulance and surgeon expert, Dr. Uzumaki Naruto, to snowflakes. They were, indeed, in a relationship, but Hinata had only mentioned it once, and Neji has only heard it once. He could really care less about their relationship. He was…decent friends with Naruto, as he had beaten his winning streak once, and learned to respect him over time. He learned quite a lot from him, despite the fact that he was one year junior.

Neji approached Hinata, who's back was turned towards him slightly from having the couch that was a short distance from him, being parallel to him as he entered the door. "Cousin."

Hinata turned her head timidly, as always.

"Neji, h-hello." Neji nodded slightly, and did a mock salute with his hands.

(A/N: Make a fist, and have the other hand on the first, so it's perpendicular, but not up and down. Like if you were to make an 'X' with your palms by putting one behind the other from the front view, except one palm is made into a fist, and the other palm is resting straight on the knuckle of the fisted hand.)

It was an inside joke, as both Hinata and Neji liked to watch series from television that had numerous fighting styles that they like to try and copy, with time periods back in the A.D and B.C periods. Hinata giggled, and did the same salute to Neji. Neji's mouth twitched and nodded, bowing slightly again, as Hinata nodded in response.

Neji walked over to stand behind Hinata behind the couch to peer over her shoulder at her work. "How is it so far?"

"T-The company's sales have increased slightly, but we have been receiving less and less praise lately. Only slightly though. I do not think it's anything to worry about."

Neji frowned slightly. "Praise has never meant anything to me, or have had much of an impact on me at all."

"M-Mm…Yes, perhaps you're right, but praise from our consumers have always told us whether or not we are doing well or not. Our products may not always be one hundred percent efficient to someone else's use."

"Then that's what they use filing complaints for, Hinata." was his response. "What is the complaints?"

"U-Um well, we do have one…" Neji's eyes widened slightly in disbelief. The last time they had received a complaint was so long ago, he couldn't remember when.

"W-Well…"

"Well? What do they complain about?" Neji crossed his arms.

"U-Um…they say that our service are too good to be true."

Neji was stiff, but he raised an eyebrow.

"Is that a compliment or a complaint?"

"W-Well, most people would take it as a compliment."

Neji turned his head and narrowed his eyes that they looked about shut.

"Waste of time...' He mumbled darkly.

"U-Um…Neji?" Hinata decided to switch subjects. "Who do you think is going to clean up that mess in the bathroom?"

Neji turned his head towards his cousin.

"What mess in the bathroom?"

"The one where you--"

"Oh." Neji rubbed the tip of his nose.

"Well, I'm not cleaning it."

Hinata looked at her papers. "I-I have no time to clean."

"Nobody has time to clean, cousin."

"Or perhaps it's because they don't want to clean up after your m-mess…"

Neji resisted a glare, for he knew it was true. He was responsible for his own messes.

Yes, it was quite upsetting that a family of such wealth don't even have a single maid in the house to clean. Pity.

"You could think about hiring a maid to clean up after you, Neji. You seem to get busier by the moment."

Hinata and Neji turned their heads towards the staircase to find the head of the family and company himself, Hyuuga Hiashi.

"Father."

"Uncle."

Neji bowed again, as Hinata gave a nod. Hiashi nodded back. Hinata and Neji then did something more amazing, something that took them quite a bit of time to get right.

Hinata set her laptop aside, then twirled, holding her middle finger and thumb together as if they held a handkerchief, twirled, and bowed slightly by levitating herself with her knees.

Neji then did a more rough one, as pretending he had long sleeves and patting himself on both his knees with his arms and make believe sleeves, then kneeling down and did a salute as he did with Hinata.

Hiashi chuckled. "I see you have it right now."

"Yes, my lord."

Hiashi chuckled again.

"You may stand."

Hiashi stared walking down the steps of their curved staircase.

"Perhaps Neji, you should take consideration in hiring a maid to tend after you and the home."

Neji frowned slightly.

"I don't need anyone to clean up after me and chase my tail."

"Neji, father's proposal is not a bad idea. Perhaps you do not like someone cleaning up after you and doing the d-dirty work after you, but it would relieve us of some extra work. We do get restless even after work, anyway, and the house can be left in a mess at times. Also, with such massive size, we may not even be able to clean it all in one day with our time schedules." Hinata added.

"Yes. You should hire one."

Neji gave an intense stare at his cousin and his uncle. Then he let out a silent groan.

"Fine. I will."

Hiashi and Hinata's face brightened.

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"Package? There are _packages_ for butler and maid services?"

"Yes sir, now which one would you--"

"Just…" Neji let out a quiet frustrated sigh. "Just get me the best one that you have. No need to make this complicated."

"So you want the additional protectio--"

"Yes. How much?"

Neji scribbled down the numbers on a check.

"How do you want me to pay this?"

"You can bring the check over to our company, or wait for your butler or maid to come and ask them to pay it for you. Or you can consider registering online for our--"

"I will wait for my maid. Thank you."

"Thank you sir. Also, would you consider in--"

"Good day."

And Neji hung up. Salespeople these days are quite irritating.

Neji simply had called a company that was fairly well known. Ah…what was it called again? T!DI CO.?

Well, at least the company name caught his attention.

"N-Neji! We're going out to East River for dinner! Please hurry and shower!"

Yes, looking for a damned butler and maid company, calling, as well as a decently long discussion, took up three hours fifty minutes and sixteen seconds of Hyuuga Neji's life. Well, at least the restaurant he'd be going for dinner was good.

"Neji! Fifteen minutes! Hurry up! Don't make the whole world wait for you!" Hanabi. Hanabi was back form her mini-road trip to the nearby hospital for surgery. Seems it was successful again, as always. They always went out for dinner every time some kind of life threatening surgery was completed with no mistake or problems.

Neji gave no reply as he walked into the bathroom, and shut the door.

Moments later, he walked back out to find he had forgotten his clothes, so he retrieved them and quickly reentered the bathroom once again, door tightly shut behind his back soon to be bare back.

-About fourteen minutes later-

(A/N: The fastest time I've taken a shower was five minutes. xP)

Neji stalked out of the restroom, taking a right towards his own room. He walked in, and set his old clothes in a laundry basket, then set himself in front of a mirror. Oh please, girls weren't the _only_ ones

Neji did as he always did, and combed his hair and all before closing the lights to his room and walking silently down the curved staircase where his family was waiting. Although the Hyuuga Family itself was _pretty _large, it was only Hiashi, Hinata, Hanabi, and Neji in their company's capital of Singapore. Every other member were off somewhere else working for the company.

"N-Neji…" Hinata stood from her seat on the couch.

"Neji!" Hanabi rushed over with a grin. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you, Hanabi."

Hanabi grinned again. Hanabi was Hinata's younger sister, five years junior.

"Let us go." Hiashi started towards the door. Everyone else nodded and followed Hiashi's lead out the door. It was about 8:12 PM, and time for them to have their dinner as they entered their car with Neji driving to East River, a restaurant they visited occasionally for dinner.

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They arrived at the grand doors with spectacular lighting that shone luminously into the sky. There were high windows with the sign showing, "East River" at the top of the grand building. There was one large area of a pool with a large fountain, largest one centered and the others beside it, spurting out water as some small fish swam around. Neji thought the building's design reminded him of Hollywood in the United States (A place he's only visited once in his entire life) minus the lights that shone the night sky.

Neji parked their car and walked towards the building with the rest of his group. Neji held open the door for some people who were coming out, as well as for Hiashi and the others, all murmuring their thanks or nodding for Neji, who had held the door open for them. Neji quickly let go of the door and entered himself, as he feared the last time he had been overly generous, and stood there for a good ten minutes holding the door open to people who came in and out of a busy restaurant at 8:37 PM. At long last, it just so happened that Uchiha Sasuke, the younger brother of Uchiha Itachi, who was also the present owner of the Uchiha Medical company. Their company although covered the entire Medical area, it mainly focused on the mentally ill area, the physiology area, as well as the surgical area. They were partnered with the Hyuuga Optometry company. In the end, Sasuke was leaving the restaurant, and smirked amusedly at Neji who had been holding the door for ten minutes, at last, taking the burden from him by holding the door. Neji thanked Sasuke somewhat enthusiastically, being tired of standing in the same position for ten minutes. He then bid goodbye to him as well as his brother respectfully, before feeling the door close behind him. When Neji entered the restaurant to find his uncle and his cousins, they asked if he had seen Itachi with Sasuke leaving the restaurant. Neji replied with a thankful yes. Hanabi then asked what took him so long. Neji replied saying that it was a _very_ long story.

As they were greeted by the dark haired lady who normally sat them with a large smile (As always) Neji wondered what he was going to eat tonight. Then he decided to order what he normally ordered as they sat down.

Turns out that Hiashi, Hinata, and Hanabi were all thinking the same thing. Drinks and all. (Not the same drinks and orders, but the idea of having the same thing they had last time.) Considering that they had tried just about everything on the menu and every combination that was possible. The only people who had also reached such goals were the Uchiha Brothers. (Oh how simply unexpected!)

After their waiter (Who with Hanabi seemed to be hitting on. The waiter seemed happy and welcomed her happily.) had taken their orders, Hanabi turned to Neji.

"So, I heard that you hired a maid."

Neji looked up from his glass of water.

"Apparently it's not hiring; It's buying." Neji set down his glass. "They have _packages_ for butler and maid services."

Hinata looked down.

"I-It's almost as if they're treating them like…animals. Products of a large company."

Hiashi looked interested as he turned his attention to Neji, asking, "What company did you buy them from?"

"Some place called T!DI Co."

Hiashi thought for a quick moment.

"I heard that they were quite popular, having supplying their services for many years and for many famous companies and people."

"With packages…" Neji mumbled.

"W-Well, what did you order?" Hinata didn't want some lazy maid or butler running around their home peeking in showers and stealing both money with food as well as any other things that were important or precious to them.

"The man was going to go on for a rant of a century's time, so I just told him off by ordering the best there was, then cut him off." Neji felt impressed and triumphant with himself for a quick moment.

"True, salespersons these days are quite i-irritating, but are you sure it wasn't that he was trying to make a deal, but to make sure everything was okay with you, the consumer?"

Neji struck silent.

"It can't be helped now, sister. He already hung up the phone so many hours ago." Hanabi smiled triumphantly as Neji's pride deflated.

Their waiter came around and handed everyone their drinks. Neji had his Merlot while his uncle had a Chardonnay.

"Father, cousin, perhaps--"

"We can hold our wine, thank you." Hiashi interrupted, just as he was going to take a sip.

"Yes uncle, but your health…"

"I will be fine, Neji." Hiashi assured him with a small smile. "As long as you promise me you won't drive."

Neji let out a small smirk. "Very well. Hinata or Hanabi will drive instead."

The sisters exchanged looks.

Pretty soon their food came and they had their dinner. Paid the waiter twenty percent for tips and left the restaurant towards home. It was about 10:43 by the time they had arrived, since there was a small amount of traffic. As always.

Since they had all showered and Hinata had already watched her shows with Neji, they all hurried upstairs to their respective rooms to change, and prepare for bed. They all silently walked into their rooms and Hanabi closed off the final set of lights, leaving only four lights dimly open with one candle near the staircase.

It was quiet for a while. A long while. An hour and sixteen minutes ever since the final member of the family had fallen a sleep.

It was an hour and sixteen minutes later that the doorbell rang.

All heads either turned, sat up, eye open, or fell out of the bed. Any combination, as the door was yanked open, all at the same time, and all four heads poked out, all at the same time.

They all exchanged looks. Sleepy, annoyed, irritated, shocked looks. They all started downstairs quietly, Hinata taking the candlelight in her hands as she followed through.

They arrived at the door in which Neji held firmly onto the knob, and he pulled open the door with anger. Dazed anger.

They all raised their eyebrows sleepily.

They stared at the girl before them. With two buns on each side of her head, dark hair, dark eyes, the figure stood stilly in the dark night. They could see her blink, with one suitcase of luggage beside her. She bowed, dipping her head.

Neji, annoyed, spoke before any word escaped her mouth.

"Who the hell are you?"

**Ohohen****: And there you have it kids. ****J Joking. I noticed that Neji was a tad bit OOC in this, speaking a bit more then he should be speaking, and acting a bit absurd. But hopefully, I'll restrain myself into making this story into a complete crackfic. Also, the thing with the salute, you might as well ignore that. I added that in when I found that the story _didn't _come up to at _least_ ten pages, so I added that in, and it managed to get me to nine to ten pages.**

**Feel free to review and tell me what you think. **

**And no kids. I'm not dead. I'll update. No worries. **


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